"Holy Shit"

Exams ended this week. As I was leaving the building, I couldn't help but notice (hear) a student talking on her cell phone. She was holding two corrected bluebooks in one hand and the phone to her ear with the other. Obviously, she was talking to a friend.

The student explained to the friend that she had just picked up some corrected, final exams and she laid out her plans for the rest of the day. The whole tone was quite casual. When I received grades, I would not look at them until I left the classroom, and then I would go somewhere quiet just in case a meltdown was necessary.

The student casually opened the exam and by this time, we were both out of the building but I was well ahead of her.

Then I heard ... well, see the title.

This student used a vocabulary straight out of the book, Literature According to the Drunken Sailor.

The student explained to her friend that she did badly on the exams. "Really f'ing bad. I got every answer wrong."

The student was genuinely surprised. In Success In College, I cite a study that found that most students have no idea how well or poorly they performed on an exam they had just taken.

Why is that?

I have three hypotheses, but feel free to add yours.

1. Confidence: Many students who study for extended periods lack confidence. They answer all the questions correctly, but are so petrified of failure that they believe they may have bombed the test.

2. No Knowledge of the Subject Matter: Some students may be so clueless about the subject matter that they don’t realize they are actually writing gibberish.

3. The Professor’s Fault: Some professors design ambiguous questions with no real answers so that they can give whichever grade they want. I believe that a minority of professors behaves this way, but I do think this phenomenon exists.

P.S. Lou Zer